Malang jayy bandiyaa, tu raj kay dill dukhaya kar…. It’s the 21st century and we are standing at the end of 2022 I cannot believe I am addressing this issue as people aren’t ready to abandon their ways of stooping so low.
These days, people are full of opinions; “You should get married as soon as possible because you are 25 now… At your age, my daughter had 2 children!”, “You should put fairness creams on your face because people will not accept you in your own skin!”, “Cut your hair short otherwise this so-called modern society will not count you pious!”, “Why are you educating your daughter? The money you will spend on her prosperousness will be a total waste!”, “Why aren’t you getting your Duppatta right?”, “Why don’t you dress relevant to the society, keeping in mind Islamic rules and regulations!”, “Why do you laugh so bluntly? People will call you a brat!”, “Don’t mind but lose your weight as people will not accept your fat figure!”, “My son has an ABC degree, there is no comparison of my child!”, “He earns more than that guy!”, “My son is promoted as a manager in XYZ company! Why is your son getting rejected? Doesn’t he have the abilities, required? Girls and families circumambulate around my son!”, “A senior gender remarried at an older age, dill nahi bhara tha Kiya??”, “Politicians are our servants we can tear them to shreds because we pay taxes!” waoh waoh waoh! Hold on for a minute!
Condemnation has always been a part of our lives since the day we came into this freaking crazy world. When I was a kid I used to be extremely shy and low confident. Feelings of constant fear revolves in my head about a lot of things and my self-esteem was at the bottom level. At first, when people used to pass comments and bully me, I used to take it in a negative way I blamed myself more and always thought others were right. But over time I realized that they were wrong and their nature of criticism is destructive. I see people bullying others and not repudiating them for a minute. Now that a lot of people took their lives, man!! I think this is high time to address the above grievances.
Just like humans mince their words from their book of faith according to their wishes and will, I would like to introduce two authentic expressions to you all that aren’t fictional. There exist two terms called Sympathy and empathy. The former is immensely easy to understand and everyone knows how and where to console humans according to their mind while the latter is an ability to put one’s feet in another’s shoes and try to understand things from their perspective. Both are right and both are required according to the situation.
For once have we ever tried to perceive that girl who is not getting married is the only one in her family who earns the bread and butter? That person who is continually failing to get a job, how hard for him to face society as people consider him/her an absolute failure? For once have we tried to console him/her? Do we have any idea how many times that brown girl faced rejection from the required proposals? Have we ever tried to understand how hard for her to bear the pain of rejection? Have we made her feel comfortable to breathe in her skin color tone? The fat girl working harder to get slim, have we ever tried to live in her position? Do we not know that at a certain age both men and women go through hormonal changes that actually take plenty of time to normalize? As if the elders never lived that age! Have we ever thought that our open statements about someone are affecting them emotionally? Don’t we guys owe respect to the privacy of the old man who has taken the initiative to start his life once again after years of skepticism? Just because a public figure is serving the country, we can bash them anywhere in the world!
For a while just keep aside the reasons behind it, what do we think? Khuda Hain Hum? Who has given us permission to interfere in anyone’s personal life? Leave everything aside have we ever asked the exceptionally talented degree holder star kid, which field he wanted to choose? Or is he dragging his life to prove himself in front of us? Did we ask? No right!! Because we want to uphold our noses in society by devaluing others!!!
We as humans do not value emotions. Just to be the part and parcel of society and to satisfy our egos we are competing in a rat race that is going nowhere. It is damaging the emotional intelligence of the next generations. As a marketer, I strongly believe that perspectives can be changed but perceptions cannot as they are century built. May I ask where are we standing right now? What do we want to achieve by doing all this? Who is the competition of who? If one widens the horizon of the mind, one will see there is no comparison between any individual. Everyone is beautiful, talented, and exceptional in their own freaking way. There is a reason behind one’s behavior. We don’t know the price a human paid to get where they are. Each and every individual is blooming in their own way.
My core motivation to write up my feelings was a lady who asked me to lose weight as I am comparatively different from the mainstream crowd. She hurt me in every manner possible by rejecting the way I exist. One can praise others by not making them feel low too. Every individual’s opinion is subjective based on their training, caste, creed, color, education, and city. The concept of emotional intelligence may be new for a lot of us but respecting is not. Just like elders, young people also deserve respect for their emotions, physique, opinions, education, and career. No one has any right to question their identity.
Be humble! Keep your criticism constructive and your disagreement respectful. Cheers to the lifelong courses of quiet servitude, forever in fear of showing, saying, or doing the wrong things.
